


Purgatory is for sinners

by cytrusekk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 09:13:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19438396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cytrusekk/pseuds/cytrusekk





	Purgatory is for sinners

There isn't much time to think in purgatory. In constant fear, when instinct takes over the mind, its shuts down everything besides "run, run, run". Saving your life - an old habit, useless here, come to think of it. But once again, there is no time for thinking.  
Because what happens when you die in purgatory?  
  
"I don't know," Benny answers, Dean mulls it over. His mind slowly rouses from a slumber and starts paving the tracts that have long remained unused.  
  
"Then why are we running?"  
  
Benny halts and looks - stares - at him. Normally, Dean would feel unsettled under a vampire's scrutiny, but this, all of this, hasn't been normal from the start.  
  
"It still really hurts to have your arm ripped off. That enough?"  
  
Dean nods, asks no more questions.  
\--  
In purgatory, Dean feels like he lost his memory, both short and long-term. There are only flashes and images that sometimes, completely at random, come to mind and disappear as quickly as they appeared.  
Dean looks at Benny and he.. remembers? hallucinates? him lapping at the blood on Dean's neck. There is no struggle.  
Just this overwhelming, ravenous arousal.  
Purgatory is for sinners and oh, Dean is a sinner alright.  
\--  
Sometimes Benny seems to be, ironically, more human than Dean. Caring, not in a "what's your happiest memory" way, but Dean has a feeling that Benny watches over him not only because Dean's his way out, but because he took a liking to him. Something that simple, but something that monsters just don't do, in Dean's book.  
Here, it's Dean who resembles a beast that he's always thought vampires to be, with urges and itches that he cannot help but scratch, and he almost whimpers when Benny pushes him away.  
  
"Dean, brother..." he says, keeping Dean at arm's length. "You don't need to do this, you know."  
  
Dean will not beg, he still has this little pride left, but his eyes and body betray him, Benny sees all that. He pulls Dean close and guides his hand down.  
  
"Make me feel good," he whispers.  
\--  
There's a bleeding scratch on Dean's neck, they both know it's playing with fire, but Dean doesn't pull away so neither does Benny.  
He can feel Dean's speeding pulse beneath his tongue, he can hear the bloodflow. Dean shudders feeling Benny's fangs graze against the skin. Benny shudders feeling the warmth of Dean's blood on his tongue and Dean's come on his fingers.  
\--  
\--  
What was there to expect, really, Benny tells himself, ashamed of hopes he held hidden deep within. That maybe it would so happen that Dean offers to stay with him for a while, help each other out a bit. Dean doesn't, of course, and Benny couldn't expect him to. He knows enough to understand about Dean's brother.  
When he asks Dean for help, it's because he really needs it. He doesn't expect to end up in bed with him, though he sure doesn't mind. An actual _bed._  
The sight of Dean spread stark naked beneath him, sighing contently under his touch, that should last Benny for long. For once, Dean's mouth doesn't taste stale, his skin doesn't taste of dirt, sweat and fear. It's different and it's good. So good that it makes Benny wonder if he's not making a mistake, because if he can't have _this_ anymore--  
When Benny lets Dean's dick slide into his mouth, Dean moans quietly and Benny's head is spinning.  
When Benny whispers "I want to fuck you" into Dean's ear, Dean's breath hitches, he lets out a "yeah" that can barely be heard and Benny swallows the words that keep knocking at his teeth.  
Benny doesn't want this to end so he fucks Dean nice and slow. Dean doesn't look him in the eye, he shifts his head to the side and pulls Benny down, exposing his neck. He licks it, bites at it lightly, no fangs, whispers dirty gibberish into Dean's ear, filtering out everything else he means to whisper.  
The only thing that comes out of his mouth as he comes is a choked curse. Then, he mumbles "I've got you" and is silent, but heaving, as he finishes Dean off too.  
Dean lays there for a while, coming to his senses, letting Benny rest on him. Benny would never ask Dean to stay, but he would never ask him to leave either.  
He wishes he had the guts. A grown - an old man - an old being - afraid to admit that--  
  
"We could go for another round with you on top, chief," he says.  
  
"I'm good."  
  
Dean shrugs him off him and Benny doesn't need to pretend the rejection didn't hurt, because Dean carefully avoids his eyes. He rolls over and watches Dean dress in a hurry.  
  
"I'd wager you could use a shower though" he says with a polite smile.  
  
"Nah, I'll wash up later." Dean scratches his neck, his gaze still running away. "Listen, uh..." he starts, and Benny feels both sorry and embarassed for him. "That was great-- god, it was amazing, it really was. So thanks."  
  
"Yeah" Benny drawls slowly, not letting Dean come up with something in the lines of "but we shouldn't do it again". "Thanks for the help, I guess."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
Benny's not sure if it was meant to sound ambiguously, but it doesn't really matter now. Dean shuffles to the door after a while of silence. His steps are unsure, and maybe Benny hopes a little. He still hopes just _a little_ when Dean turns around and opens his mouth, unsure what to say.  
  
"I'm sorry, " he says, finally, and walks out.  
  
Benny is sorry, too.  
`


End file.
